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Post by Taylor Clear on Sept 27, 2006 14:44:11 GMT -5
Lately, all day, every day, Taylor felt as if she were on the edge of a cliff, willing herself to either jump or have the strength to go on living. Part of her wanted to give up--not suicide, but something else. This life felt so contained, yet so reckless.
Taylor hadn't told anyone except her parents that she was sick. Well, more than sick, but it eased the pain ever to slightly to make her cancer seem like it was far off--unreal. It would probably break her heart to tell Rachel, Jeremy, and all of her friends.
Her mom had ordered her to go out somewhere--"The beach, Taylor. The Boardwalk. Paparazzi. The Harbor. Anywhere--I don't care, but honey, you'll go crazy sitting here all day. Go get sunshine." Taylor had reluctantly pulled herself together enough to haul ass out of bed and onto the beach. As much as she wanted to wallow at home in self pity and tears, she knew that her mother was right--stubborn and right.
Even in the bright sunlight, with the humid air all around her, thick as a cashmere blanket, Taylor was freezing--and kind of lonely. She was wearing classic-cut, baggy aqua-lime-and-white polka dot Aerie pajama bottoms, with a lime green satin drawstring. On top was the gray N.Y.U. hoodie that Jeremy had given her when he got back from college. Her hair was thrown up in a messy ponytail, and she wore only light silver eyeshadow and mascara. There she lay, sitting on a light blue terrycloth towel and facing the ocean.
Just so great. [/center] |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 27, 2006 15:07:13 GMT -5
The day was perfect. Birds were chirping, the rain had stopped, much reason for celebration. Well, if you were one of those fools living in fantasy-land with no cares in the world. Colby wasn't one of those 'I don't need crack to look like a moron' people. There were deadlines to meet, a relationship that was mostly on the rocks, and a father who was getting on his ass to move back to San Francisco. And to top it all off, he had to wear lavender to Cotillion. Woopty-fucking-do. Well, if he even bothered to go to Cotillion. He still wasn't too certain if he'd have a date. Now wasn't the time to think about all of that though. Coming to the beach meant it was a time to relax.
Currently, he was sitting in the sand, not even caring that his faded jeans were being gradually dusted with the grains. His grey-blue gaze was focused on a kid building a sand castle, trying to get it up before the waves came in and destroyed his work. He was never one of those kids, mainly because he took life too seriously and practical. With a sigh, he shifted from the kid, his eyes dancing across everyone present in his vicinity, including a blonde he didn't know. Being somewhat new to Orange County, he hadn't had the opportunity to meet much people outside of Elizabeth. The 'I've got a reputation to live up to and therefore you're third important doll' bitch. But yet, he liked his 'girlfriend' for some reason or another. Back to the blonde though. She looked sort of...sad? Why should he care though? He had his own life-worries to deal with. Something about the girl was calling to him though, and he found himself standing and trudging almost relucatantly over to the almost fragile creature.
Being that his upper body was currently void of clothing, the tattoo on his right arm was pretty damn visible. He didn't even know when he got it. Probably got drunk and someone dared him. Oh well, he liked it, so he wasn't going to try and get it removed. "Hi," he said, blocking the girl's sun as he stuck his hands into his jeans pockets. "Mind company?" he inquired, not caring either way if she said no. Why should he? He had better things to be doing anyway; such as watching that kid build a sand castle that nature was sure to get rid of soon. [/color][/font]
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Post by Taylor Clear on Sept 27, 2006 16:00:38 GMT -5
Taylor glanced up at the hot, shirtless, tattooed guy blocking out the sun. She recognized him vaguely from somewhere--probably the dancing lessons. Elizabeth's boyfriend. Today, she couldn't really care less whether he joined her or not, but maybe some non-judgemental company could 'help' her. He didn't seem like the type to make her be something she didn't want to be--say, happy.
"Yeah, sure." She offered up a weak smile, thinking that it probably didn't look like much, and brought her knees up to her chest, encircling them with her arms--almost like an embrace. A rough lump was forming in her throat, like she had just dry-swallowed a large pill and was nearly choking on it. Taylor swallowed, looking up at the guy again. An idea formed in her head. She needed to tell someone, or she was going to burst. "Can I tell you something, and have you not tell anyone else and not pity me, or anything?" She asked, directing her cornflower-blue eyes back to the ocean. [/center] |
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Adrienne Martin
New Member
The Next Best Thing to A Friend ;; You
Posts: 30
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Post by Adrienne Martin on Sept 27, 2006 16:10:38 GMT -5
Getting out of a parked car, Adrienne headed for the beach. It was the first time she had really been out without Elizabeth, so it was time to have fun. Clad in her two favorite colors of the days, clear white, and Cancun wash jean, Adrienne strutted about, and down into the sand, where she took off her three and half in clear heeled pumps. Hell yes, she was a Martin.
Dropping a towel her shoes and her Light wash Cancun wash jean mini in the sand, and she and her white bikini let her self into the water, and fell backwards hard into the waves. Her dark hair was soaked, and straightened instantly. Ahh, the joys of the beach. Her mind was clouded, and damnit she was stressed. She had been in the bathroom all morning, throwing up lunch and a bottle of water, and she was in the mood for something to mellow her out.
Tuning out the world, she thought about things. Things that had happened, things that had happened, that call from you-know-who. It was horrible to think about though. |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 27, 2006 16:44:24 GMT -5
Sitting down next to her when she'd given him the 'go ahead', Cole leaned back, his palms propping his upper body up. He'd seen how unenthusiastic her smile had been, and figured this girl must be going through some issues. Not like he cared to find out though. Her life, she should sort them out.
At her question, he slightly quirked one brow, a mini frown on his face. Okay. So she'd tell a random stranger something personal? Did he look that trustworthy? Either way, he was. Not like he had the time to go join the gossiping Orange County bitches and spread her business. He liked keeping mostly to himself anyway. "I guess. If you feel the need to," he replied with a nonchalant shrug. "Maybe getting it off your chest will do you some good." In that final statement, he'd made it clear that he'd noticed something was weighing on her mind. Any dufus would have. He studied her profile through the corner of his eye, and the way she was positioned made him see her as a rather vulnerable being. [/color][/font]
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Post by Taylor Clear on Sept 27, 2006 17:29:45 GMT -5
"I know you're probably wondering why I'd tell you this, and you probably think I'm kind of crazy, but I'm not. I don't even know why I'm telling you, except that I need to tell someone that doesn't care. I don't want people treating my any different because--well, just because."
She finished, interwining her fingers and looking down at them, her face showing no emotion at all. Taylor was done crying, for now. She was sure that once people found out, many more salty tears would be shed. It was odd, because she had absolutely no idea what was happening to her--if she was going to be okay.
"It's just that yesterday, I found out... well, I found out that I had cancer. Blood, or something. The doctors didn't know if they could cure it." She let out a bitter laugh. "Their version of an upside--after they tell me I'm dying, mind you--is that my hair isn't going to fall out." She wiped a lone tear off her cheek. Guess she wasn't done crying, probably because she still couldn't except the facts.
"I want to feel like everybody else does. I don't want to set myself apart, to be isolated, but I feel like a--a freak or something. An alien. I don't want all my friends to look at me with sympathy, pity, remorse. I don't want anybody crying except me, all by myself. I want to protect them, and me, too."
Taylor didn't quite know what she meant by this, and it was almost as if she were half talking to herself--but it felt good, to get it out. To tell somebody. Honestly, Cole was probably one of the better people to tell. He had no judgements against her. He wasn't her friend--she didn't even know him. He didn't care about her and she didn't give a damn about him.
It worked out nicely. [/font][/center] |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 28, 2006 10:07:16 GMT -5
'No shit Sherlock,' was Cole's first thought when the girl began her 'speech'. Of course he thought her crazy, but then again, the fact that he didn't know her meant that he wouldn't pass judgement. The fact that she didn't know him though, could mean that he was some type of malicious dickhead that would spill her secret. He wasn't, but she was being naiive.
Other than him raising his brows ever-so-slightly at her admission of having cancer, Colby's face mostly remained expressionless. So that's why she was looking like she lost her best friend. Poor girl...sort of. Although she had to go to bed at night not knowing if tomorrow would be the day she kicked the bucket, the fact of the matter was that she still had the possibility of being cured. That meant she should live. To him she was wallowing in her own self-pity even though she didn't want others to show her pity.
"Who cares what they think though?" he asked, thinking Orange County people were pretty shallow. "It'd be nice to have one of your friends standing beside you through it and telling you that you're going to survive. You're going to make it through it. A real friend wouldn't show you pity," he stated matter-of-factly, shrugging. "They wouldn't cry. They'd be strong...for you."
Sticking his index finger down upon the sand, he turned it in a circle, absently watching its formation. "Didn't it feel nice to get it off your chest to a total stranger?" he questioned her. "I bet it'll feel much nicer to be truthful with your friends... If they stop talking to you because they're stupid enough to think cancer is catching, or they want to protect their O.C. image, then at least you know who your true friends are. Better now than later when they stab you in your back."
Laying back on the sand, Cole yawned, his hands behind his head. "So what's your name anyway?" he asked, changing the topic from that sad subject. It wasn't like he was going to offer her sympathy or a shoulder to cry on, so why drag it out? He wasn't heartless, but he wasn't that type of guy either. "I'm Colby, or Cole." Pausing for a second, he wet his lips. "And you can't protect everyone," he added. "You're putting too much weight of emotions on yourself. Protecting people means they won't know how to deal with certain stuff when you're not around to be their shield. Gotta let them fly blind sometimes." Ick, when did he become so...philosphical? Damnit. That's what not gambling all the time did he guessed. He got to talk more instead of just saying 'hit me' during Blackjack. [/color][/font]
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Post by Taylor Clear on Sept 28, 2006 13:42:10 GMT -5
Taylor listened to him. He was right, and she said so. "You're right." She offered a weak half-smile, now getting a kind of whiplash in telling him--did she know who he was going to turn around and spill to? God, why did she always act so... pathetic? Stupid? Naive?
"Just... don't tell anyone." She said. "I'll tell them myself pretty soon. Probably after cotillion." She nodded a little.
"I'm Taylor. You're E.V.'s boyfriend, right? I just recognized you from dancing lessons." She looked at the ends of her ponytail then back up at Cole, squinting. The sun was ridiculously bright, and a stiffling ocean breeze blew off the waves, ruffling the edges of her towel. [/center] |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 28, 2006 13:58:43 GMT -5
Waving a slow, airy hand at her, Cole said, "Naw, I'm not going to tell anyone. That's your business...to share when you feel like doing so. I'll pretend I didn't here it in the first place." He smirked slightly, closing his eyes and nodding. "Yeah, the sooner the better. Before they hear it from someone else. Not me...but people's secrets sometimes slip from the most unlikely of sources. I hope your doctor or his nurse likes you," he finished, hoping she caught his drift.
Lightly running a hand over his face at the mention of Elizabeth, he shrugged. "Sort of. The relationship aint too hot right now. She aint acting like a girlfriend should to me ya know? More worried about that image she has," he admitted. "So I'm not so sure how this relationship stands. Maybe Imma be calling it quits." Tilting his lips to the side, he furrowed his brows. "Anyway, not important." Yeah, it wasn't important. He came to the beach to forget about his problems with Elizabeth for a brief moment of time. All his problems. The girl had a way of making him feel worthless though. As a stand-in for the time being.
"So tell me about you Taylor," he prompted, re-opening his eyes and looking her way. She was somewhat interesting...like someone who was completely innocent and more real than the other girls around this place. That was with the exception of his cousin of course. [/color][/font]
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Post by Rachel Louise on Sept 28, 2006 14:05:40 GMT -5
Taylor smiled. "I've known Elizabeth for a long time. I don't want to be rude to her, or anything, but she was always more interested in my cousin that me. She'd, like, follow her around, trying to be her. Everyone does, though." Taylor shrugged. To be honest, she wasn't as much jealous of E.V. as she was her cousin--it seemed like E.V. had to model to rise to the place Rachel had been for her whole life. But that was just an opinion.
"Oh, me?" Taylor tilted her head to the side, shrugging a little. "I don't really fit in in this town. I mean, my parents aren't swimming in money, but we're not in poverty, either. I live in a house over there--" She swung her hand left, pointing to a light-blue-painted house up along the coast. "I've been here my whole life. The way people know me is that I'm related to the Schellenbergs. Rachel and Jeremy. I'm not selling myself short, though--I've just got bigger dreams than the O.C. I want to go to Columbia and be an editor, or writer. Not of a fashion magazine." She said with a smile. "Did you just move here?" [/center] |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 28, 2006 14:25:44 GMT -5
"I see," Cole murmured, figuring they had one thing in common right there. Elizabeth's interest level seemed to lie in places that truly weren't important. It wasn't like anyone could really be the top bee except the top bee herself. Common sense. "Not everyone," he said lightly, knowing one girl who could frankly give a damn.
As he listened to her talk, Cole turned unto his stomach, his eyes hooded. "Mmm, good luck with that," he sincerely said, figuring they'd cure her cancer and she'd be able to live her dreams. "I'm just a computer geek with a gambling addiction." He frowned, not even too sure why he said the last bit. It was back to the 'you don't know me so you can't judge me thing', he concluded. "Yeah. Like a month ago from San Francisco. I'm living with my cousin Amber. Another bitch," he chuckled. "In a different way though. She just really exists to get on my nerves I guess." And it was true, as they rarely got along. He guessed that would be the case until he could be less serious. [/color][/font]
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Post by Rachel Louise on Sept 28, 2006 15:03:00 GMT -5
Taylor listened to him talk, looking for her hands to his face. She was pretty good with the whole eye-contact thing, but sometimes it got awkward to be staring at a person's face or profile for an extended period of time. She nodded along with him.
"Gambling addiction?" She questioned lightly. Oddly, she hadn't ever heard of anyone having such a thing in reality--sure, she'd read about it--and she was kind of curious. Alcoholism, drugs, lies... those were frequent in the O.C. But normally, if you were short on cash you stole your company's. You didn't gamble. Lovely, really.
"How did that come to be? I get if you don't want to talk about it, though." She said, smiling genuinely for the first time that day. Yeah, her mom had been right. Getting out and talking to people almost made her forget that tomorrow might be her last day. [/center] |
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 28, 2006 16:21:18 GMT -5
So she went and asked about it. Should he even answer? After a bit of mental deliberation, he finally said, "Well...it started about five years or so ago...at a party one of the local high school cheerleaders was hosting. They were playing a whole pile of nonsense...truth or dare, drunken twister." Chuckling lightly, he shook his head. "Regular and strip poker. I was at the regular table. Even before then I knew I was good at that game. Played with my dad's friends when they were doing so at barbeques ya know. So anyway, the guys decided to raise the stakes and bet cash. Of course I was in...and I guess the winning just got to me. Before I knew it, the stakes were higher and I couldn't stop gambling. Now its at casinos, the underground places. Get myself in debt quite a number of times with the shadiest of people but always managed to repay them. Somehow."
That was the story, and he hadn't really shared it with Elizabeth yet. Well, she hadn't ask. See how much she cared about him really? "Heh, guess I should get help for it huhn?" he asked with a small smile, setting his chin atop his forearms and gazing out at the ocean. [/color][/font]
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Post by Rachel Louise on Sept 28, 2006 20:03:52 GMT -5
Taylor smiled wryly. It was kind of good to talk about other people's problems. She got the feeling Cole didn't really tell people about this too much, so she listened quietly, thinking it over.
"Well." She said, rolling over to mimic his pose. Much more comfortable.
Taylor wouldn't have offered even any small form of advice if he hadn't asked in some way. It seemed like this conversation was becoming a two-way confessional. "It depends. I mean... if it gets to a point where you hit rock bottom and completely can't stop gambling away all your money, then yes. I think you should get help. If right now, it's still entertaining for you, and you manage to pay back debts, then I guess you could put off help if you felt like you wanted to. Why do you gamble, anyway? The money?" She questioned. The inquiry didn't really seem to matter much, but to Taylor it was the base of the problem. "If you say 'addicition' then it must mean you can't stop--correct?" [/font]
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Post by Colby Hill on Sept 28, 2006 20:21:22 GMT -5
Soaking in her advice, Colby slowly nodded. That made plenty sense. "No, it's not about the money," he shook his head in the negative, eyes now closed. "That I have plenty of normally. I design programs on the side which in turn gives me a steady income," he informed. "My gambling comes from my need to win. Its only in this part of life where I want to be the best. That and the pure thrill of the game."
He sighed. What was up with this whole sharing thing? It felt good though, that was for sure. "Yeah, I can't stop. There's times where I'd stop for a good two weeks, and then get a call from someone about a game going on, and that's all it takes to get me back in it," he chuckled. "It's almost as bad as drugs. I don't do that mind you, but I've seen how people get when they don't get their crack or whatever."
Grinning a bit, he peeked at her out of one eye. "I feel like I'm in my psychologist's office," he said, shaking his head a bit. "Thanks though...for doing the whole listening thing. Most people in the O.C. don't care about other people's problems," he shrugged, emitting a slow, soft bit of air out through his mouth, as if he was smoking. "You lived this side all your life?" he inquired, rather curious. If she did, how did she manage to be different from the bitches? It just seemed...weird. [/color][/font]
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